ROWENA AND THE VIKING WARLORD....DEAR READER

For those contemplating a purchase of ROWENA AND THE VIKING WARLORD on Saturday (the official launch day), here is the Dear Reader introduction which places the book in time in the series:

Dear Reader,

Welcome back to the magical, medieval world of Land’s End…

In Rowena and the Dark Lord, book 2 of this series, Rowena returns to Land’s End. There, she learns more about the ancient world through the wall from which her mother escaped to Arizona, long ago.

Things are not well in Land’s End. Due to a witch’s curse, no females have been born there in more than fifty years. Rowena’s Grandfather is ailing, and Cedric, her distant cousin and feared husband, now rules Huel.

Cedric is a master mage, a follower of the dark arts. Through his teaching, Rowena discovers her own powers of magic. But she is still in her infancy as a witch and makes mistakes. First, she conjures a Roman Legion out of time. Then, she turns back time to save the lives of those she loves, including Thane.

But at what cost?

When we left Rowena and the Dark Lord, time had shifted, and the true cost of Rowena’s spell had not been reckoned.

Now, the price must be paid.

War has come to Land’s End, and even Rowena can’t avoid it now.

Come with me back to Land’s End, and meet the man who threatens to conquer everything in Huel, including Rowena’s heart.

Her enemy and her lover…the Viking Warlord.
~Melodie

On AMAZON:
On KOBO

The Funny Side of ROWENA AND THE VIKING WARLORD

It's book 3 of the trilogy - the Danger ramps up...
Vikings are poised to invade Saxon Land's End.
But there is humour, even so.  After all, this is Rowena we're talking about.

Excerpt from ROWENA AND THE VIKING WARLORD

Wish I were a wizard, I muttered to myself.

“What are these fluffy bushes over here?”

“Don’t touch that!” I yelled.

Too late.

“Ouch!” Val yelped and jumped back. “It bites. Nasty thing.”

He raised a hand and ZAP! The plant collapsed into ashes.

I sighed. Then I looked around furtively to make sure nobody saw that.

“Okay, you probably shouldn’t go zapping things here.”

Val was staring down at his hand. “But think of poor Loki! That evil animal could injure our poor companion.”

“That was a plant, actually. A teddy-bear cactus,” I said. “They only look fluffy. Let me look at your hand.”

Yup. Lots of icky thorns.

“Do you want me to pull them out, or can you take care of it?”

He sniffed. “I can do it. But really, Kendra. Plants shouldn’t bite. It’s not natural.” 

AND EARLIER....

There was a whoosh behind me, and then some vulgar cursing.

I spun around.

A man stood on this side of the wall. He was tall, with wide shoulders and massively muscled arms. Red-gold hair streamed down his back. He wore a dark green tunic with leather belt and dagger, but no armor.

He was absolutely magnificent, and I knew him well.

Cedric.

"What the hell?"

He laughed, a throaty, good-natured bellow. "By the gods, what a ride!"

I stared, mouth gaping. Cedric on this side of the wall? In Arizona?

"How did you get here?" I blurted.

"The same way you did. I followed you through the portal."

His head whipped from side to side. One hand was on his dagger hilt. I could see he was assessing the place for danger. Instinct, of course.

Crap. Crapity crap. Cedric was here in Arizona. And Thane was way the hell up north in some blasted field, a whole wide world away.

Thank God there was no one around. How the heck would I ever explain a medieval warrior-knight in my classroom in Scottsdale, Arizona?

Think, Rowena. Think!

ROWENA AND THE VIKING WARLORD coming July 5

ROWENA AND THE VIKING WARLORD - cover by Ryan Doan ROCKS!

ROWENA AND THE VIKING WARLORD
Love this cover.
Such is the brilliance of Ryan Doan's art: the world of Land's End collides and morphs into the landscape of Arizona on the back cover.
 
This book is darker than the other two, by necessity. The cover reflects that. The plot arc over the three books comes to a climax with full scale war. But there are still comic situations, because, after all, this is Rowena we are talking about.
Coming July 2.

ROWENA AND THE VIKING WARLORD coming JULY 2! Here's a peek at the cover...

Here's a partial peek at the cover for ROWENA AND THE VIKING WARLORD!  (More to come....)

THE BLOODY WORDS ADDRESS BY THE MATTRESS OF CEREMONIES, PART 2

By the Mattress, Melodie Campbell (June 7, 2014, at the Toronto Hyatt Regency)

But what I really want to talk about tonight is the HIGHS and lowwwwws of being an author.

I’ve had a few highs this year.  I won some serious money in a short story contest.  I won a Derringer and an Arthur Ellis for The Goddaughter’s Revenge.

So I’ve had a few highs.  But I’ve also had some lows.  In fact, I am an expert at the lows. Most of mine have to do with the dreaded….

BOOK SIGNING.

Many people talk about the worst that can happen.  Meaning, you have a book signing and no one shows up.

But I’ve had worse.

Worse is when five people show up.  And they’re all pushing walkers.  And half way through your reading – when you’re right in the middle of a really exciting scene – someone blurts out, “When does the movie start?”

Sometimes even big numbers don’t help the ego.  I was doing an event in my hometown in front of 200 people this fall.  It was great – I was doing my comedy shtick - lots of applause.  The MC showed everyone my books, talked them up, asked for questions.

Hands shot up.  I was pumped.   I picked the first eager hand from the crowd, delighted to see such interest in my books.   And she said, “Do you actually know Linwood Barclay?”

It’s a miracle writers have any ego left at all.

I was featured at another event this year, with probably 50 people in the audience.  Again, great applause after my reading.  Lots of hands in the air.  I picked one young lady who was waving frantically.

She said (voice heavy with disappointment): “You don’t look anything like your heroine.”

I said: “Sweetheart, not only that, I don’t look anything like my author photo.”

One final low - the lowest of my lows.

One of the things authors love more than anything else is getting together with other authors to whine about the industry.   

I was at the Drake hotel with a bunch of author friends this year.  Let’s see…there were Robbie Rotenberg, Howard Shrier, Dorothy MacIntosh, Rob Brunet, Pam Blance, Tanis, Dee...a few others.  Anyways, we were bending the elbow liberally, spending God knows how much per drink, moaning about how our publishers don’t do enough to promote our books.  It was great fun.  A stellar whine-fest.  I think Robbie ordered another round.  And then I ordered another round.  This did something to my insides.  It quickly became apparent that I was going to have to get rid of some of what I had been imbibing.

I don’t know if you’ve been to the Drake, but the washrooms are upstairs.  We were on the main floor at the back.

Well, I made it to the stairs.

Nice thing about the Drake is the stairs have bannisters.  And you know, I have discovered that bannisters are a really good thing.  You can use them to pppull yourself up step by step, for one thing.  For another, they keep you going in the right direction.

So I made it to the landing at the top.  Then I turned to look for the right room.

Things were a little fuzzy in my brain, you have to understand.  In front of me was a door that had a big W on it.  W…that seemed familiar.  W for washroom?  But I wasn’t quite sure that was right, so I looked around.

To the left was a door with a big M on it.  OH!  M for Melodie!  And I walked right in.

Rob Brunet, I think you had already left by then, but the man at the urinal asked for my phone number.

Melodie Campbell rights funny books, including the Derringer and Arthur Award winning THE GODDAUGHTER’S REVENGE, available at Chapters and online at all the usual retailers.

The Bloody Words Address by the Mattress of Ceremonies (yes, you read that right)

Miss the Bloody Words Banquet last weekend?  Here is a sample of the opening address…

(with apologies in advance to serious people everywhere):

From the start, Cheryl and I had discussions about what to call me.

Master of Ceremonies didn’t seem quite right, as we both agreed I’m a master at nothing.

Mistress of Ceremonies…if we went with that, seeing it was me, people would be expecting whips and chains.  And then I might be mistaken for Gloria Ferris tonight.

I suggested Mistake of Ceremonies.  That may very well turn out to be true.

And then, in a particularly zany moment, when we were in that frantic period leading up to the con, we came up with Mattress of Ceremonies, because I was so (wait for it…)   supportive.

Last summer, when Cheryl TOLD me I was doing this… <no laughter>.  Cheryl, they either know you really well, or not at all.

Anyways, the diet started last August, and I’m pleased to report that I’ve lost 2 pounds.  I should reach my goal weight in 2038.

So…there wasn’t much I could do in the thin department.  But maybe I could do something about looking younger.  So I did something I’ve never done before.  I bought a face cream that was guaranteed to make me look decades younger.  To my surprise, it worked.  I broke out all over and looked about 14.

People will notice I’m not wearing the dress that I wore for the Crime Scene photos.  Unfortunately, that dress had a serious cleavage issue.   Cheryl and I decided that if I wore that dress, Kevin Thornton would start a pool on whether there would be a wardrobe malfunction tonight.

<Kevin yelled “20 to 1 For, Mel” from the back of the room.  Unscripted.>

But that suggested to me that I really ought to get some new underwear.  It’s been a while, and I could use a new bra and gauchies.  Something glam.  But you wouldn’t believe how hard it was to find something in my size.  They really don’t make a lot of bras in 38 Long.

To be continued….

THE GODDAUGHTER'S REVENGE WINS THE ARTHUR!

Awarded on June 5, ARTS AND LETTERS CLUB, Toronto!