The Silent Film Star Murders!

 Still a wait until this second in the series is released (winter) but so exciting to see the cover!

Advice to aspiring authors:

 Many thanks to my former student for creating this for me!  It's nice to be quoted.

WANTED: ONE FAIRY GODMOTHER (pee warning: comedy)

Apparently, it's been too serious around here.  There've been complaints.  So I dug back into my comedy portfolio for something I know my good friend Cheryl will like.  Cher, you know who you are!

First published, Town Crier (and affiliated papers) 1995. Second pub, The Sage. 

 

Wanted: One Fairy Godmother

by Melodie Campbell 

One thing the Catholic Church really has going for it is a vast army of Guardian Angels.  These are wonderful beings whose sole purpose is to guide you through life, and prevent you from making really embarrassing mistakes…those everyday kind of mistakes such as hopping a last minute flight to Argentina with Raoul instead of baking more cookies for the school fundraiser, like you promised.

But for those of us who weren’t born Catholic, what we need is a Fairy Godmother.  Not the old fashioned kind who dresses in 1950s prom dresses and goes around changing vegetables into vehicles.  Nope – I want someone on my side: a modern, down-to-earth Fairy Godmother, who will answer all those pesky questions that everyone else always sidelines.

In fact, I can visualize my personal Fairy Godmother.  She would be about 65 years old (but would only admit to 49) with a petrified blond hairdo and a Brooklyn accent.  Her orange lipstick would be a little too thick, and she’d carry one of those bombproof organizer handbags.  Of course, she’d be full of wonderfully useful advice, like exactly how far up are you supposed to shave your legs?

“The problem with you girls today is you don’t wear proper foundation garments.  Go without a bra?  You’re going to be KICKING them in a few years…”

Instead of going for tea at the Arcadian Room, she’d drag me off for salad and Singapore Slings at the Four Season’s.

“Nothing wrong with a little nip now and then, dearie.  Puts colour in your cheeks.  Don’t you read Cosmo?”  And while we’re munching and slurping (“Drinking girl’s diet – gotta watch those hips”) she’d give me nonstop advice about how to get along in life.

“Forget Good Housekeeping – the way to a man’s heart is not tuna casseroles.  But here’s how to make a really good martini...”

“Face it, dearie.  After the age of 40, what every girl really needs is a good esthetician…”

“You’ve never been to Paris?  That’s it – we’re going in March.  I know this little place on the Rue la Fontaine that serves the best coquille…”

So I’d like to be here writing my column next month, but chances are I’ll be in Paris with my Fairy Godmother.

Of course, I recognize a Fairy Godmother isn’t for everyone.  Perhaps the guys would prefer to have a Fairy Godfather…or then again, perhaps they wouldn’t…

 

And now a word from our sponsor...

 

 

 

 

"MYSTERY QUEEN!" Melodie Campbell featured in Queen's University Smith Magazine, Spring 2024 Issue!

 

The book that started my career: ROWENA THROUGH THE WALL - 4th edition, now on sale!

 If you missed it more than a decade ago, now is a great time to pick up ROWENA THROUGH THE WALL,  first in the series featured on USA today, and called "Outlander meets Sex and the City"

121 reviews:  4.2 star average!

(4th edition presented by Lachesis publishing, now on sale at all e-platforms)

The Mob, the Model, and the College Reunion

by Melodie Campbell, in the anthology ...MURDER, NEAT

If you like the comedy in The Goddaughter series, you'll love "The Mob, the Model, and the College Reunion"!

Now available on Amazon, and select bookstores! 

Here's what others say about it:

IT'S HERE! READERS DIGEST - FEB ISSUE - Under the new title, 'ELOPEMENT SPRINGS ETERNAL'

NOW ALSO AVAILABLE IN READERS DIGEST UK!  (*waves* to relatives in Salisbury and Bournemouth_

https://www.readersdigest.co.uk/lifestyle/dating-relationships/what-is-the-appeal-of-running-away-to-elope?fbclid=IwAR1fVd9IudP0VACf5JaB6e8GCS8fs1aONIlulXAV__QBbFf7bOSDP1gyhBw

Many thanks to the wonderful people at the Globe and Mail, and Reader's Digest, who helped make this possible!  Looking for the International Reader's Digest version now...

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