Sunday 21 February 2016

Why Book Tours are Expensive (comedy on the road)



(Yes, it's one of my fave columns - and timely.  See you at Left Coast Crime! )

I’ve recently been on a book tour for my latest crime comedy, The Goddaughter’s Revenge (winner of the 2014 Derringer and 2014 Arthur Ellis Award. There.  Got it in.  My publisher can relax now.)

Book tours are expensive.  You travel around to independent book stores and you sell some books and sign them.  It’s fun.  You meet a lot of great people.  But it’s expensive.  And I’m not talking about the hotel bill and the bar tab.

I should have just stayed in the bar.  It was leaving the bar that become expensive.

Nice night.  We decided to go for a walk.  It was dark, but I had on my brand new expensive progressive eye-glasses, so not a problem, right?

One second I was walking and talking.  The next, I was flying through the air.

Someone screamed. 

WHOMP.  (That was me, doing a face plant.)

“OHMYGOD! Are you okay?”  said my colleague.

I was clearly not okay.  In fact, I was splat on the sidewalk and could not move. 

“Fine!” I yelled into the flagstone.  “I’m Fine!”

I tried to lift my head.  Ouch.

“That must have hurt,” said someone helpfully.

I write about a mob Goddaughter. So I know a bit about mob take-outs.  It may come in handy.

A crowd had gathered.  Not the sort of crowd that gently lifts you off the ground.  More the sort of crowd that gawks.

“Couldn’t figure out why you were running ahead of us.” My colleague shook his head.

I wasn’t running.  I was tripping and falling.

“That sidewalk is uneven.  Your foot must have caught on it.”

No shit, Sherlock.

By now I had tested various body parts.  Knees were numb.  Hands, scraped.  Chin, a little sore. 

But here’s the thing.  I hit in this order: knees, tummy, boobs, palms.  My tummy and boobs cushioned the fall and saved my face.  

 Yes, this was going through my mind as I pushed back with my tender palms to balance on my bloody knees.

“Ouch!”  I said.  No, that’s a lie.  I said something else.

I stood up.  Surveyed the damage.  My knees were a bloody mess, but the dress survived without a scratch.  It was made in China, of course.  Of plastic.

The crowd was dispersing.  But the pain wasn’t over.

Next day, I hobbled to the clinic.  The doctor, who probably isn’t old enough to drive a car, shook his head.  “Progressive glasses are the number one reason seniors fall.  They are looking through the reading part of their glasses when they walk, and can’t see the ground properly.”

Seniors?  I’ve still got my baby fat.

“Get some distance-only glasses,” he advised.

So I did.  Another 350 bucks later, I have a third pair of glasses to carry around in my purse.

Which means my purse isn’t big enough.

So I need to buy a new purse.

And that’s why book tours are so expensive.

Thursday 18 February 2016

Fabulous Industry Review of The Goddaughter Caper! "the climax goes south in a gasp of giggles"

Industry Review of The Goddaughter Caper!

THE GODDAUGHTER CAPER

By Melodie Campbell
Raven Books  $9.95
The Goddaughter Caper: voted best tale by the inmates of the Holy Cannoli Retirement Home.
Author Campbell scores an all-star romp through Hamilton’s Hess Village’ up-market shops to the Burlington Bay chocked full of concrete shoes and decaying body parts and the latest economical and quiet funeral shady venture featuring cheap, imported pine.
The Goddaughter Caper is funny, zingers-a-plenty, coffins, pop-up dead bodies, and dialogue… the star of any Gino Gallo mystery. The atmosphere this time is a wedding in six weeks organized by her rookie cousin Nico.  The new funeral service struggles with bodies being delivered, picked up and re-delivered to another wrong spot.  Gino smiles at her fiancé, her promise that “all that” has been left behind.
The real challenge in a series is to keep it approachable…we know the place, the people, but Campbell keeps it fresh…like reading a new book with hints of the past percolating in your memories.
The climax is a dead heat between one-liners and quips like: “I heard he died of heart failure.” “Two slugs from a .38 will do that.” And the climax for the Holy Cannoli Retirement Home goes south in a gasp of giggles.
The Goddaughter Caper, complete with pink poinsettias, is the best yet.  
“Sonamabeech!” Bring on another one.

Don Graves, Canadian Mystery Reviews




Buy link on Amazon
Buy link on Chapters/Indigo
Also available in stores, and at all the usual suspects

Wednesday 17 February 2016

LAST DAY FREE! The Bridgeman and Rowena Through the Wall




"The Bridgeman is a mystery, a love story, and a psychological horror that tests the resolve of an entire village."

AND
 
ROWENA THROUGH THE WALL
(Book 1 in the bestselling Land’s End Time Travel trilogy)
“Outlander meets Sex and the City” Vine Review
“Hot and Hilarious!”  Midwest Book Review
"Bawdy, Lusty and Fun!"
“A cross between Diana Gabaldon and Janet Evanovich”

“Is that a broadsword on your belt, or are you just glad to see me?”
When Rowena falls through her classroom wall into a medieval world, she doesn't count on being kidnapped - not once, but twice, dammit. Unwanted husbands keep piling up; not only that, she has eighteen year old Kendra to look out for and a war to prevent.
Good thing she can go back through the wall when she needs to...or can she?



 About the Author:
The Toronto Sun called her Canada’s “Queen of Comedy.”  Library Journal compared her to Janet Evanovich. Melodie Campbell has over 40 short story publications, 9 novels and 10 awards.  Rowena Through the Wall was an Amazon Top 100 Bestseller, putting her ahead of both Nora Roberts and Diana Gabaldon for a magical time.

The entire Land’s End Trilogy was a top 50 Amazon bestseller in January 2015!  You can read more of Rowena’s adventures in Rowena and the Dark Lord, and Rowena and the Viking Warlord.






Tuesday 16 February 2016

FREE to a good home! Two books of Paranormal Romance!

 



A Lily Evans Mystery - Book 1















In ancient Egypt, a young priestess of the goddess Hathor is laid to rest in a beautiful tomb with everything she needs for her journey into the afterlife…

Three thousand years later, archaeologist Ursula Allingham discovers the mummy of Amisihathor and is confronted by a mystery. Is the man buried with the priestess really her husband? Or was she actually in love with a scribe called Kamenwati and separated from him in life as well as death?

To answer these questions, Dame Ursula turns to Egyptology student and artist Lily Evans, who reluctantly agrees to help. Lily learns that she is psychically linked to Amisihathor andexperiences a strange, unsettling phenomenon—the memories and emotions of the Egyptian woman. Luckily, Lily has her beloved pet Cleocatra and her irrepressible friend Katy to keep her grounded in reality. Or so she hopes.

Dealing with the challenges of falling in love with Ursula’s grandson Kent, the reappearance of her ex-fiance Stephen and the demands of her mother and her boss Professor Briggs, Lily soon realizes she has taken on much more than she bargained for.

click here 

AND OF COURSE...

ROWENA THROUGH THE WALL!

TOP 100 AMAZON BESTSELLER  (PAID LIST)

ROWENA THROUGH THE WALL
(Book 1 in the bestselling Land’s End Time Travel trilogy)
“Outlander meets Sex and the City” Vine Review
“Hot and Hilarious!”  Midwest Book Review
“A cross between Diana Gabaldon and Janet Evanovich”

“Is that a broadsword on your belt, or are you just glad to see me?”
When Rowena falls through her classroom wall into a medieval world, she doesn't count on being kidnapped - not once, but twice, dammit. Unwanted husbands keep piling up; not only that, she has eighteen year old Kendra to look out for and a war to prevent.
Good thing she can go back through the wall when she needs to...or can she?



 About the Author:
The Toronto Sun called her Canada’s “Queen of Comedy.”  Library Journal compared her to Janet Evanovich. Melodie Campbell has over 40 short story publications, 9 novels and 10 awards.  Rowena Through the Wall was an Amazon Top 100 Bestseller, putting her ahead of both Nora Roberts and Diana Gabaldon for a magical time.

The entire Land’s End Trilogy was a top 50 Amazon bestseller in January 2015!  You can read more of Rowena’s adventures in Rowena and the Dark Lord, and Rowena and the Viking Warlord.






Monday 15 February 2016

7 FREE BOOKS! Suspense and Romance

Blonde Demolition


She slammed her hand on the table. Her beer wobbled. She caught it. "You are not seducing me back into this life."
 
Mallory Sage lives in a small, idyllic town where nothing ever happens. Just the kind of life she has always wanted. No one, not even her fellow volunteer firefighters, knows about her past life as an agent for Homeland Security.
Former partner and lover, Trey McCrane, comes back into Mallory's life. He believes they made a great team once, and that they can do so again. Besides, they don't have much choice. Paul Stanley, a twisted killer and their old nemesis, is back.
Framed for a bombing and drawn together by necessity, Mallory and Trey go on the run and must learn to trust each other again―if they hope to survive. But Mallory has been hiding another secret, one that could destroy their relationship. And time is running out.
Chris Redding lives in New Jersey with her husband, two kids, one dog and one show rabbit.  She graduated from Penn State with a degree in Journalism and is still a diehard Nittany Lions fan.  Her books are filled with romance, suspense and thrills. 

More Free Books!

FREE to a good Home!  From Imajin Books:

DEAD MAN'S HAND

What happens when the deck is stacked against you…

From NFL rising-star prospect to wanted fugitive, Calvin Watters is a sadistic African-American Las Vegas debt-collector framed by a murderer who, like the Vegas Police, finds him to be the perfect fall-guy.

…and the cards don't fall your way?

When the brutal slaying of a prominent casino owner is followed by the murder of a well-known bookie, Detective Dale Dayton is thrown into the middle of a highly political case and leads the largest homicide investigation in Vegas in the last twelve years.

What if you're dealt a Dead Man's Hand?

Against his superiors and better judgment, Dayton is willing to give Calvin one last chance. To redeem himself, Calvin must prove his innocence by finding the real killer, while avoiding the LVMPD, as well as protect the woman he loves from a professional assassin hired to silence them.

Click here

Sunday 14 February 2016

7 FREE Books! Here's another sweet romance, just in time for Valentine's day



UNDER A TEXAS STAR

 

By Alison Bruce
Imajin Books, 2011

Disguised as a boy, Marly joins a handsome Texas Ranger in the hunt for a con man and they must bring the fugitive to justice before giving up the masquerade and giving in to their passion.
When Marly Landers is fooled by con man Charlie Meese, she's determined to bring him to justice―even if it means dressing up as a boy and setting off across the plains to find him.
Texas Ranger Jase Strachan is also after Meese, for crimes committed in Texas. He joins forces with the young boy in a journey that takes them to Fortuna, where a murder interrupts their mission. Jase is duty bound to find the killer, no matter the cost.
Under the Texas stars, Marly and Jase are drawn together by circumstances beyond their control, yet fate plots to tear them apart. Will Marly finally get her man?

Alison Bruce has had many careers and writing has always been one of them. Copywriter, editor and graphic designer since 1992, Alison has also been a comic store manager, small press publisher, webmaster and arithmetically challenged bookkeeper. She is the author of mystery, romantic suspense and historical western romance novels. Three of her novels have been finalists for genre awards.

http://www.alisonbruce.ca  

https://www.facebook.com/alisonbruce.books



FREE to a good home! More free books, four days only....


FREE for a limited time!
With over 100 reviews on Amazon, CHASING CLOVERS
is the perfect mix of sweet romance and Wild West adventure!


“A truly wonderful western that will break your heart at times and lift your spirit at others. A must read for all.”


Longing to escape the awful memories and the saloon she once sang in, Livy Green lies about her past so she can be a wife to John Taylor and mother to his two young children. Overwhelmed by the task, she struggles to put her resentment aside and love them as her own.

John loved his first wife and is still heartbroken over the loss, but he needs a mother for his children. When his distant and unfriendly mail order bride arrives, he begins to doubt his decision, though one glance into Livy's terrified green eyes tells him he can’t turn his back on her.

As Livy's past catches up with her and suspicious accidents begin to happen on the ranch, she is tempted to come clean and tell John the truth. But will he send her back if she does? Or will they forever be CHASING CLOVERS?


Author Bio:

Kat Flannery’s love of history shows in her novels. She is an avid reader of historical, suspense, paranormal, and romance. She has her Certificate in Freelance and Business Writing. A member of many writing groups, Kat enjoys promoting other authors on her blog. She’s been published in numerous periodicals throughout her career.
Her debut novel CHASING CLOVERS has been an Amazon bestseller many times. LAKOTA HONOR and BLOOD CURSE (Branded Trilogy) are Kat’s two award-winning novels and HAZARDOUS UNIONS is Kat’s first novella. Kat is currently hard at work on her next book.