You asked for it - now live with
it! More from Morticia (reprinted with permission from the demented places that pay me)
Get in shape with BODIES BY MORTICIA
...Select yours today!
Dear Morticia;
My wife can't go a day without playing bingo. What's your impression of a woman like that?
Signed Fed Up
Dear Fed;
Sorry, I don't do impressions. This is an advice column.
Dear Morticia;
My husband works shifts and comes home so tired he can barely carry on a conversation. How can I keep him from falling asleep on me?
Signed, Frustrated
Dear Frust;
Push him off. Next...
Dear Morticia;
Are you busy this weekend? Party at my house - I finally got rid of my parents!
Signed, Home Alone
Dear Home;
That's nice. Did you manage to make it look like an accident?
Dear Morticia;
My mother and I read your advice column every month and we are appalled by the ridiculous advice you give. In fact, we can't believe you actually get paid to produce this kind of trashy garbage on a regular basis.
Signed Disgusted in Durham
Dear Gus;
Wait a sec...you mean they're supposed to pay ME?
Morticia will return to these pages if somebody doesn't kill her off first.
Get in shape with BODIES BY MORTICIA
...Select yours today!
Dear Morticia;
My wife can't go a day without playing bingo. What's your impression of a woman like that?
Signed Fed Up
Dear Fed;
Sorry, I don't do impressions. This is an advice column.
Dear Morticia;
My husband works shifts and comes home so tired he can barely carry on a conversation. How can I keep him from falling asleep on me?
Signed, Frustrated
Dear Frust;
Push him off. Next...
Dear Morticia;
Are you busy this weekend? Party at my house - I finally got rid of my parents!
Signed, Home Alone
Dear Home;
That's nice. Did you manage to make it look like an accident?
Dear Morticia;
My mother and I read your advice column every month and we are appalled by the ridiculous advice you give. In fact, we can't believe you actually get paid to produce this kind of trashy garbage on a regular basis.
Signed Disgusted in Durham
Dear Gus;
Wait a sec...you mean they're supposed to pay ME?
Morticia will return to these pages if somebody doesn't kill her off first.
Melodie Campbell writes funny books. You
can buy them at Chapters, Amazon and demented bookstores everywhere. The
Bootlegger's Goddaughter is now available.
Hilarious!! Love this stuff.
ReplyDeleteI used to have a column in a restaurant trade magazine, Anne. Back in the big-money days of comedy.
ReplyDelete