Saturday, 9 July 2016

Yoga-Pants-Wife and hold the Blue Bins… (more comedy from Bad Girl)

By Melodie Campbell

I was watering the lawn the other day when I made this profound observation: names are completely irrelevant when you live in the suburbs.  Here’s a typical weekend conversation around our house:

DH (translates to Dear Husband, or – ahem - Dumb Husband, whichever fits the mood):  “I was just talking to Riley’s parents.  Did you know that Ollie’s family has moved away?”

Me:  “Riley the Sheepdog, or Riley the Beagle?”

DH:  “Sheepdog. The people who live beside the guy with the three blue bins.”

Me:  “I hate what their neighbours have done to their backyard.”

DH:  “The couple with the two hot tubs?”

Me:  “No.  On the other side.”

DH:  “The blue garage door people.”

Me:  “Right.  Eddie says they bought a huge trampoline.”

DH:  “Who’s Eddie?”

Me:  “Married to yoga-pants-wife who drives the red Porsche.”

DH:  “Oh. That jerk. The guy who waters his lawn on banned days.”

Me:  “No, that’s the jerk next door to him. The house with all the windows.

DH:  “Huh?”

Me:  “Across from the people with the cats.”

DH:  “Oh. I know who you mean. Beside the garage sale people.”

Me:  “That’s right.  They’re always having garage sales.” 

DH:  “That’s where Ollie used to live.  Wonder how much they got for that place?”

Me:  “Ollie the black Lab or Ollie the Pomeranian?”

Which begs the questions…I wonder what they call us?)


  1. Ain't it the truth, Anne :) (I'm probably 'the fat lady in yoga pants')

  2. Love it. So funny. So true!

  3. Naturally, you and your DH are Frankenpoodle parents. You might also be He Who Rebuilds Things and She Who Talks to Geese.

    1. Yup - Sunny's Parents. Because everyone knows Sunny. But I do like "the woman who yells at goosifer"

  4. I swear you're writing about me and my hubs.

  5. And Sheri...I'm wondering what they call you? The gorgeous wife with the hot cowboy hubby? (grin - if you REALLY knew what I could write, after starting to read Jungle...)

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