Five
Things You Don’t See in a Romance Novel
1. Farting:
No one farts in a romance novel. No one has Mexican for lunch and forgot their
Beano and are worried about letting one loose in the confines of heroine’s
compact car.
2. Burping:
Same thing. No one eats too fast and has to let off some steam to make room.
3. Morning
Breath: The hero and heroine wake up after a night of lovemaking to start all
over again. Don’t either of them need a little Listerine before that happens?
4. Eye
Boogers: I have yet to read that a heroine wakes up and the hero lovingly hands
her a tissue so she can wipe those suckers out of her eyes before he bangs her
like a screen door in a hurricane.
5. Going
to the bathroom: Now, I recognize that most heroines are young and never had a
baby. But for those of us who are neither of those things, we need to get rid
of something first thing in the morning. Way before we can think about sex. And
the heroine will get drunk, but the hero never has to help her to the bathroom.
What
is up with that?
Bio:
Chris
Redding lives in New Jersey with her husband, two sons, one dog and three
rabbits. She graduated from Penn State
with a degree in journalism. She teaches online writing workshops and a
creative writing course for a local continuing education organization. When she
isn’t writing or teaching, she works part time for her local hospital.
Buy
Links to Blonde Demolition:
Blurb:
You just can't hide from the past...
Mallory Sage lives in a small, idyllic town where
nothing ever happens. Just the kind of life she has always wanted. No one, not
even her fellow volunteer firefighters, knows about her past life as an agent
for Homeland Security.
Former partner and lover, Trey McCrane, comes back
into Mallory's life. He believes they made a great team once, and that they can
do so again. Besides, they don't have much choice. Paul Stanley, a twisted
killer and their old nemesis, is
back.
Framed for a bombing and drawn together by
necessity, Mallory and Trey go on the run and must learn to trust each other
again―if they hope to survive. But Mallory has been hiding another secret, one
that could destroy their relationship. And time is running out.
Amazon
in print: http://tinyurl.com/87qdaam
Chris
Redding Links:
Thanks for having me today Melodie.
ReplyDeletecmr
How could I have missed this? I'm going to start right now and write a romance with farts, burps, and morning breath.
ReplyDelete