Wednesday, 30 November 2011

She’s BACK! Morticia’s Massage Parlor and Advice Academy gets ready for Christmas!

Dear Morticia,
Call me a stick in the mud, but I don’t like Christmas.  Every year our house gets filled with all those strange sounds and smells.
Signed Hum Bug

Dear Bug,
They’re called relatives.

Dear Morticia,
Help!  All these Christmas chores need to be done and I’m exhausted.  What can I do?  The baby was sick again and kept me up all night.
Signed Tired

Dear Tired,
Sorry honey, but you married him.

Dear Morticia,
I’m a rather well-heeled gent dating a younger lady.  Is it crude to give money for Christmas?
Signed Loaded

Dear Loaded,
Of course not!  I like my men the cruder the better.

Dear Morticia,
I love the old Christmas traditions.  Do you still hang stockings by the fireplace?
Signed Sweet Sue

Dear Sue,
Frankly, I hadn’t thought of it.  But really, it wouldn’t be a whole lot of fun.  They’re already dead, aren’t they?

Morticia will return before Christmas unless Santa promises to be really crude.

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