By Melodie Campbell (Bad Girl)
Recently, I read something that got me thinking. (Okay, have your little laugh. I can wait.)
The quote was:
“A writer who isn’t writing is a monster.”
At first, I wasn’t sure if that meant a writer who wasn’t
writing right now and every minute
was a monster. Or whether it meant a
writer who was prevented from writing
was a monster.
For the sake of all concerned (at least in this house,) I’m
goin’ for the latter.
Which brings me to this little list. If you are a writer, tick off the ones that
apply to you and leave a comment before.
Or better still, add your own. If
you are not a writer, stand back.
You know you’re an author when:
1. You’d rather spend time with your
characters than your friends.
2. You’ve been at the computer all
day and Nachos seem like a major food group.
3. Your spouse yells “Are you all
right in there,” and you’re pretty sure you’ve heard that voice before. Somewhere.
4. Your idea of a vacation means
hours and hours of time to write. And nobody
bugging you to “do something.”
5. You reach for Glenlivit when the
internet goes down.
6. You could be arrested if the Feds
look at your search history.
7. You actually know the difference
between less and fewer. And consider it
a hanging offense when people misuse them.
8. You have been known to ignore
phone calls from your mom, kids, husband, boss, and possibly God.
9. Your idea of supreme hell is being
trapped at a cocktail party for three
hours with people who aren’t writers.
10. You have seriously considered
murdering people who say, “I have this great idea for a book, and if you’ll
write it, I’ll share the profits with you.”
And the ones who say, “I think
I’ll write a book someday when I get more time.” And the ones who say, “Of course, it’s just a
mystery/fantasy/romance genre book you’ve written. When are you going to write something
important?”
Excuse me now. I have
a lot of people to murder, and I’m behind.
