Wednesday, 2 September 2015

IWSG day! Bad Girl's tricks for Writing with Kids

 IWSG Badge

IWSG Day!

Hi Everyone!  Welcome to IWSG Day on the Bad Girl Blog.

Anyone else have to fight to find time to write?


Okay, these are not the definitive rules for Writer-parents. I would never claim to be an expert.  But I did raise two kids while writing stand-up on the side and penning a syndicated humour column every two weeks. (My moniker was Bad Girl. Go figure.)

So I learned a few things about survival along the way.

Bad Girl’s Tricks for Writing with Kids:

1.   Probably you shouldn’t lock yourself in the bathroom, so the kids can’t get at you. Equally, you shouldn’t sit in the playpen with your kid on the outside, screaming and shaking the thing.  Okay, at least not more than once a day.

2.   Never put a package of Twinkies in front of a toddler so that you can continue to write. (Remove them all from the plastic wrappers first so the kid doesn’t choke.)

3.   A kid won’t die if they drink half a mug of cold coffee.  But watch the wine. In fact, you might want to finish the rest of the bottle right now, just to be safe.

4.   Other kid’s birthday parties are a great thing for a writer. But you really should pick up your own kid when they’re over. (Eventually. Before winter.)

5.   It’s okay to get someone to babysit your kids while you move into a new house. But it’s not okay to forget to tell everyone where that house is.

6.   When your kid leaves home for university, it is not recommended to immediately change their room into an office or writing room. Wait until after Christmas. The sales are better.

Re “Leaving the nest”: Every mother gets emotional about this. But probably you shouldn’t do it until your kids are grown up.

Check out other great IWSG posts today!  Follow this link:
http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html

Melodie Campbell writes funny books, including the multi-awardwinning The Goddaughter’s Revenge.  You should buy them.

 

11 comments:

  1. Hi,
    I've never had children but found some of your suggestions very funny. I'll pass them along to people who write and have children.
    Nice post.
    Shalom,
    Patricia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by, Pat! I'm afraid I may have used all of the above. Don't tell anyone.

      Delete
  2. I really enjoyed your post. I giggled at a few of the tips above. I don't have children, but I do have three needy dogs and a cat. Hiding from them, even when they drive me crazy, definitely equals terrible results. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and for your kind words.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Murees, I often write with a dog head on my lap. (a Frankenpoodle - he's huge). And I know several friends have to remove cats from keyboards regularly. Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  3. Absolutely hilarious! I'm finally at the stage when my son has started full time kindergarten. I'm floating on air with my days full of quiet writing time. I wonder if he thinks he has a new mommy since I'm so pleasant when he comes home at the end of the day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Christine, I can SO relate! That precious writing time when the kids are at school :) Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL, I'm not a mom-writer, but my stepdaughter visits occasionally. She's 15 now but when she was 10, I had to learn to keep writing with The Disney Channel blaring in the background!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah yes, Stephanie! I remember when Sesame Street was on five times a day, and I knew every timeslot! Thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  6. That was hilarious! Especially not telling people where your new house resides.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grin - reporting that this is the ONLY thing on the list that I probably haven't tried! Thanks for dropping by, Alex.

      Delete