Today, we are going to talk about Christmas. Basically, about the inequities between men
and women, when approaching the subject of preparing for Christmas.
Women, for example, approach Christmas from the point of
view of shopping for presents, selecting and decorating the tree, cleaning the
house for company, cooking the holiday dinner for 10, and flopping from
exhaustion just in time to hear Dasher and Dancer on the roof.
Men, on the other hand, tend to regard Christmas as
something that precedes the Superbowl.
In order to properly conduct this extremely scientific
study, it’s necessary for us to delve deeper into the proverbial muckbin of
sexual politics. Let us look at the
different attitudes between the sexes when considering the subject of turkey
Her job: buy the
turkey, defrost the turkey, stuff the turkey, cook the turkey, make the turkey
gravy, serve the turkey.
His job: eat the turkey.
(Also, be the turkey.)
Let’s further examine the role of men and women when purchasing
gifts for the average North American family.
She buys for: the
kids, the dog, the husband, his mother, her mother, his father, her father, Aunt
Gertrude, Uncle Larry, his best friend, her best friend, the kids’ teachers,
the crossing guard…
He buys for: her.
Lest this seem a tad inequitable, let’s remember that there
is a good reason the world is aligned this way.
There is no possible way a gal WANTS her guy to buy for everyone on the
above list. This is because most guys’
idea of a really neat and original thing to buy is a gift certificate from
Canadian Tire or Fred’s Rods and Live Bait.
Which is why – although it is often the only present they
have to get – many men revert to the time-honoured guy tradition, which is try
to ignore it and maybe it will go away, aka “leave it to the last minute.”
This is why, on Christmas eve, you are apt to see hundreds
of crazed men running through local shopping malls buying anything that doesn’t
move, yell or bite.
Him (in department store, 9 PM Christmas Eve, clutching
something that resembles a blouse):
“It’s perfect! How much?”
Clerk (world-weary):
“This blouse is a size 62. Are
you sure your wife is a 62?”
Him: “Blouse? I thought it was a tent. Oh well, maybe it will shrink.”
Ca-Ching.
So darling, if you’re reading this, the tree is up, and I
have a few things on hold at Tiffany’s.
You choose.
That's POV for you. As a single mother, I wouldn't mind a gift certificate from Canadian Tire... especially if it covers the cost of putting the winter tires on the car.
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