Remember sneakers?
The fashion footwear of the seventies and eighties. Good ole trusty sneakers that your mother hated. The kind you wore until they were
really scruffy and had holes in the canvas.
Just when they were getting really comfortable, the soles would fall
off.
Sneakers, runners…you know what I mean. Recently, I went
looking for a new pair. Things have
changed a lot in the footwear industry.
When I was in school, we wore runners and we actually ran in
them. What an antiquated notion.
Now, you couldn’t possibly do anything as strenuous as
running (correction: “jogging”) without the specific shoes designed for that
task alone. They are also designed to
empty the wallet. This they do very
well.
“Try these,” said the perky sales clerk in the local sports
equipment store. “They’re the
latest. See these little pockets all
around? You pump them up with air to fit
your foot.”
I looked at the three figure price tag and jumped three feet
in the air. Clerkette had something for
that.
“You need these.” She
pointed to a pink and white concoction that looked like something out of Flash Gordon. “These are specifically designed for doing
aerobics.”
I peered at the impossibly high cushioned heel and shook my
head. “I’m more liable to fall sideways
off them and break an ankle.
She gave me a pained, ‘get with it – this is technology’
look. “We have deck shoes, court shoes,
jogging shoes, track shoes, shoes to walk in and shoes to dance in.”
I squinted at the trendy wall display, which spanned the length
of the store. This was a bit much. I mean, Lord help you if you happen to be walking
across an intersection and you need to run before the light turns red. I’m sorry, but I really don’t have time to
change my shoes.
“Listen,” I said. “For
thirty years I’ve walked, jogged, played tennis and changed diapers in
sneakers. Don’t tell me it’s not
possible.”
Do I need a special pair of shoes to scrub the floor? Is there a unique type of footwear designed
for vacuuming?
I like to help the economy, but this is ridiculous. I sure don’t have the bucks to invest in a separate
pair of shoes for each sport. So best to
look at what I do most and buy shoes to accommodate that particular activity.
Actually, what I do most is chauffeur the kids around. Next thing you know, they’ll come up with a
shoe specifically designed for car-pooling.
Complete with little pop-up flags to remind you whether you’re coming or
going. Or worse, computerized footwear –
like the voice reminders on fancy cars.
Good grief, I can hear them now:
“You’ve been jogging again.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times, these are Tennis
shoes. Take them off right now…”
