Brought to
you by: MORTICIA & CO., Distributors of Aftermarket Body Parts.
Dear Morticia;
My husband was married once before. When he passes on, would it be
appropriate to bury him beside his first wife?
Signed Planning Ahead
Dear Head;
Only if she's dead first.
Dear Morticia;
I keep asking my boss for a raise, but he keeps saying no. As a last
resort, I'm thinking of offering him my body. Think it will work?
Signed Blondie in Bowmanville
Dear Blondie;
Gee, I don't know. Chances are he has a perfectly good body of his own.
Dear Morticia;
My boyfriend and I won a hundred thousand dollars in a lottery. I want to
buy a house and he wants to buy a 427 AC Cobra four speed. What should we
do?
Signed Homeless
Dear Less;
Recent reports suggest that it is very difficult if not impossible to prepare a
proper meal on a 427 engine block. On the other hand, most houses built
today can't travel at more than 2 miles per hours. Tell you what.
Forward the winnings to my address and I'll do a test run for ya.
Dear Morticia;
What is the quickest way to a woman's heart?
No Don Juan
Dear No Don;
Zippered sweaters, although wrap-around blouses run a close second.
Morticia writes funny novels under the pen name of Melodie Campbell, who has over 100 comedy credits, 10 novels and 40 short stories. Buy her books, and then maybe she won't have to appear here.
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