Do you get into the Spirit of Christmas?
I’m not interest in the Spirit of Christmas and I’ve told him that a hundred times! (Honestly…it’s these office Christmas parties. Everyone gets embalmed.)
Can I interest you in custom-designed fruit baskets for your dearest friends.
Signed, The Custom Grocer
No thanks. I gave a Christmas food basket to Thing last year and it bombed horribly. He just didn’t have the stomach for it.
I’m quitting smoking starting Jan. 1. Are you making any New Years resolutions this year?
Yup. As soon as the vulture dinner is over, I’m becoming a vegetarian. (At least when you carve a pumpkin, it doesn’t try to eat you back.)