You asked for it - now live with it! More from Morticia (reprinted with permission)
Get in shape with BODIES BY MORTICIA
...Select yours today!
My wife can't go a day without playing bingo. What's your impression of a woman like that?
Signed Fed Up
Sorry, I don't do impressions. This is an advice column.
My husband works shifts and comes home so tired he can barely carry on a conversation. How can I keep him from falling asleep on me?
Push him off. Next...
Are you busy this weekend? Party at my house - I finally got rid of my parents!
Signed, Home Alone
That's nice. Did you manage to make it look like an accident?
My mother and I read your advice column every month and we are appalled by the ridiculous advice you give. In fact, we can't believe you actually get paid to produce this kind of trashy garbage on a regular basis.
Signed Disgusted in Durham
Wait a sec...you mean they're supposed to pay ME?
Morticia will return to these pages if somebody doesn't kill her off first.