Many thanks to those demented people who asked for more of Morticia. (reprinted with Permission)
Brought to you by: MORTICIA & CO., Distributors of Aftermarket Body Parts.
My husband was married once before. When he passes on, would it be appropriate to bury him beside his first wife?
Signed Planning Ahead
Only if she's dead first.
I keep asking my boss for a raise, but he keeps saying no. As a last resort, I'm thinking of offering him my body. Think it will work?
Signed Blondie in Bowmanville
Gee, I don't know. Chances are he has a perfectly good body of his own.
My boyfriend and I won a hundred thousand dollars in a lottery. I want to buy a house and he wants to buy a 427 AC Cobra four speed. What should we do?
Recent reports suggest that it is very difficult if not impossible to prepare a proper meal on a 427 engine block. On the other hand, most houses built today can't travel at more than 2 miles per hours. Tell you what. Forward the winnings to my address and I'll do a test run for ya.
What is the quickest way to a woman's heart?
No Don Juan
Dear No Don;
Zippered sweaters, although wrap-around blouses run a close second.