The Seven Things You Need to Become a Writer by Melodie Campbell (Bad Girl)

Stepping away from comedy for a moment to talk about that favourite topic: How to become a published writer.

I have over 200 publications, 9 awards, and have taught fiction writing since 1992.  Based on my experience with over 1000 students, here is my abridged list of what you need to become a writer:

1.  Time.

Writing takes time.  To be a writer, you are going to have to give up something.  I gave up television and the gym.  The latter is obvious.

2.   A room to write.

Virginia Woolf said: A woman needs money and a room of her own in order to write.  EVERYONE needs a room, or a place to write.  Preferably with a door to close out the rest of the world.  Especially if you have kids.  I wrote in the bathroom for years.

3.   Supportive friends.

Eliminate all people you can from your life who are negative influences on your writing.  The ones who think you will never make it.  The ones who think it’s a ‘cute’ hobby. The ones who look down upon the genre in which you write.  Do it now.  This minute.  Become friends with other writers who share your passion.

 4.  Desire.

I nearly said passion, but really, they are the same thing.  To be a writer, you have to actually love to WRITE.  That is, bum in the chair, by yourself, hitting the keyboard, in a world of your own making.  Too many people want to become authors, but don’t actually like the physical work of writing.  Figure out whether you do right now.

5.  The Craft.

If you want to write a novel, take a course in crafting a novel.  If you want to write short stories, ditto.  You’ll learn a lot really quick, and it will cut years off your apprenticeship.  Not only that, you’ll make friendships with like minds who will inspire and encourage you.

 6.  Talent.

 Yes, you need talent.  By that, I mean you need plot ideas of your very own.  I can teach you the craft of writing in my college fiction writing classes.  But you also need to have the sort of brain that is producing ideas all the time.  Successful fiction writers don’t have to look for ideas.  They are drowning in them.

 7.  A Thick Hide.

All writers deal with massive amounts of rejection.  Even when you strike gold and get a publisher, you will deal with rejection in the form of bad reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.  None of us escape that.  All of us need to develop a thick hide to survive as authors.

Luckily, I have developed a thicker hide.  It comes from skipping the gym and gaining weight.

WHY IT IS HARD TO GET PUBLISHED

Taking a break from the usual comedy to address a hot topic in my fiction writing classes:

Why it is hard to get published:

I have over 200 publications and won my first fiction award in 1989. In the years since, I’ve talked to several dozen editors. Here are some things they have said:

   
    1.  Your story must be original.

By that I mean, it must be a new fresh idea that publishers haven’t seen before.

This is tougher than you think. I have taught over 30 fiction writing classes since 1992. In almost every class, I have someone writing the ‘harvesting organs’ story. This has been done, I tell them. Every angle has been done, in my experience. I never want to see another one.

         2.  Your story must be extremely well written.

Let’s go beyond the spelling and good grammar. You better know how to open, how to conclude, how to generate conflict (goal/motivation/conflict) and all the other aspects of fiction writing that you learn in a good fiction writing class.  Yes, you had better take a class if you haven’t, otherwise you won’t know what is expected. 
 

      3.  Your story must be what the editor wants to buy.

Two things here:

a-     If your work is a short story, you must make sure that it is the right length and the right genre/subgenre for the market to which you are submitting.  Check their guidelines. Don’t send anything that doesn’t fit! They won’t take it.

b-     If your work is a novel, ditto about checking guidelines. Don’t send anything that the publisher doesn’t publish. They will not open a new line for your debut book.

4.  Your book must fit a hole in the publisher’s lineup.

Yes, this is the sad part. Your novel may be great. But if the publisher doesn’t have a space for it in his Fall 2015 release, he won’t buy.

Most publishers know two years in advance what they will need. So that brings me to point 5. 

5.  You are competing with currently published authors in the publisher’s stable.

Another sad fact.  Most of us published authors hope to have a book out every year or year and a half. We can easily fill our publisher’s slots. So there may not be many spaces for newcomers.

You have to look at it from the publisher’s point of view. In taking a book from an author they currently publish, they are assured of a few things:

a-     The author will make their due dates, and will be professional with respect to required edits.

b-     The author (probably) has a built in group of readers waiting for the next book.

Imagine how good your book is going to have to be to overcome these advantages.

Yet, many new authors get published every year. I’ll talk about that in a later blog.