by Bad Girl
(Definitely not a western/vampire/zombie romance, but might possibly be a spoof.)
The stage coach came to a full stop, but not before it pitched to and fro, throwing me into the seat opposite. Which was fully occupied.
“Damnation,” said the Duchess. No, that was me, actually. I’ve always wanted to start a book with that line. Too bad I’m really just a temporal law enforcement officer in deep cover.
The man I had the misfortune to be sprawled across appeared to be shocked. Well, blow my cover and a whole lot of other things. If he wasn’t the sexiest thing I’d seen in a mule’s age, whatever that was.
I looked right into his baby-poop brown eyes. “I am so sorry,” I said with a drawl newly acquired. “I am truly embarrassed. Help me up, will you?” I shoved my hand against the back seat beside him and tried to push back. Not good. My cleavage got stuck under his chin.
With a smooth move, he grasped my upper arms with his hands and fair lifted me off. I was plunked back down on the seat opposite.
“Thank you,” I said.
“No, thank you.” He tipped his ten litre hat. “That’s as close as I’ve got to a woman in a mule’s age.”
That settled it. I simply had to find out how long mules lived.
to be continued, unless someone pays me enough to stop.