Wednesday, 17 October 2012

MIDSUMMER MIDWESTERN - (Definitely not a western/fairy/vampire/zombie romance, but quite possibly a spoof)

I have been accused of many things, one of which is writing spoofs. Say not, I plead.  And to prove it, here is page one from my latest in-progress:


The stage coach came to a full stop, but not before it pitched to and fro, throwing me into the seat opposite.  Which was fully occupied.  

“Damnation,” said the Duchess.  No, that was me, actually.  I’ve always wanted to start a book with that line.  Too bad I’m really just a temporal law enforcement officer in deep cover.

The man I had the misfortune to be sprawled across appeared to be shocked.  Well, blow my cover and a whole lot of other things.  If he wasn’t the sexiest thing I’d seen in a mule’s age, whatever that is.

I looked right into his baby-poop brown eyes.  “I am so sorry,” I said with a drawl newly acquired..  “I am truly embarrassed.  Help me up, will you?”  I shoved my right hand against the seat back beside him and tried to push back.  Not good.  My cleavage got stuck under his chin.

With a smooth move, he grasped my upper arms with his hands and fair lifted me off.  I was plunked back down on the seat opposite.

“Thank you,” I said.

“No, thank you.”  He tipped his ten litre hat.  “That’s as close as I’ve got to a woman in a mule’s age.”

That settled it.  I simply had to find out how long mules lived.

Melodie's latest comedy, THE GODDAUGHTER, is now available in Chapters, Indigo, Barnes &Noble, and online at Amazon, Chapters and other retailers.


  1. Good lord that's a long time to be away from a woman. The last woman he got close to was probably his mother when he was weaned - at best his childhood sweetheart. Mules can live 25-30 years and a well-kept healthy mule can still be spry at 40.

  2. Love it! Mother, it shall be. Whoops - I'm talking like this is a real novel or something.

  3. LOL Why not make it a real novel? A humorous western would be most welcome! Great post.
    Marja McGraw

    1. I'm told spoofs don't sell, Marja, but dang, I may just write it on the side when I need to show my zany side, Thanks for the kind words.

  4. Damn, just makes me want to go ride a stagecoach!!!

    1. Now I declare - why would that be, Terry? :)
      I'm still waiting for comments on the ten litre hat.