Five Things You Don’t See in a Romance Novel
1. Farting: No one farts in a romance novel. No one has Mexican for lunch and forgot their Beano and are worried about letting one loose in the confines of heroine’s compact car.
2. Burping: Same thing. No one eats too fast and has to let off some steam to make room.
3. Morning Breath: The hero and heroine wake up after a night of lovemaking to start all over again. Don’t either of them need a little Listerine before that happens?
4. Eye Boogers: I have yet to read that a heroine wakes up and the hero lovingly hands her a tissue so she can wipe those suckers out of her eyes before he bangs her like a screen door in a hurricane.
5. Going to the bathroom: Now, I recognize that most heroines are young and never had a baby. But for those of us who are neither of those things, we need to get rid of something first thing in the morning. Way before we can think about sex. And the heroine will get drunk, but the hero never has to help her to the bathroom.
Chris Redding lives in New Jersey with her husband, two sons, one dog and three rabbits. She graduated from Penn State with a degree in journalism. She teaches online writing workshops and a creative writing course for a local continuing education organization. When she isn’t writing or teaching, she works part time for her local hospital.
Buy Links to Blonde Demolition:
You just can't hide from the past...
Mallory Sage lives in a small, idyllic town where nothing ever happens. Just the kind of life she has always wanted. No one, not even her fellow volunteer firefighters, knows about her past life as an agent for Homeland Security.
Former partner and lover, Trey McCrane, comes back into Mallory's life. He believes they made a great team once, and that they can do so again. Besides, they don't have much choice. Paul Stanley, a twisted killer and their old nemesis, is back.
Framed for a bombing and drawn together by necessity, Mallory and Trey go on the run and must learn to trust each other again―if they hope to survive. But Mallory has been hiding another secret, one that could destroy their relationship. And time is running out.
Amazon in print: http://tinyurl.com/87qdaam
Chris Redding Links: