Just in time for Father's Day, here's a 10 point quiz to help you remember if you are a DAD:
1. Do you own at least one painted rock paperweight?
2. Do you know all the cheapest restaurants in town?
3. Does your night life involve Children's Tylenol?
4. Would you sell your soul for a sitter on Saturday night? How about your first born?
5. Do you habitually run over unidentified plastic action figures when mowing the grass?
6. Have you ever gone miles out of your way on vacation to find a clean washroom?
7. Do you jump when any little voice yells "Dad!"
8. Have you ever encountered "The Phantom Piddler?" In the car? On your pants?
9. Have you ever prompted your boss to "say the magic word?"
10. Does your concept of an ideal vehicle include sound-proof glass between the front and back seats?
How to Score: (Not THAT kind of score...)
0 to 2: Nope, not a Dad. Although it's possible to know where the cheap restos are and locate clean washrooms, failure to answer No. 4 with a resounding "YES!!YES!!" is a dead giveaway.
3-10. Yup. Dad material. Get ready for another painted rock paperweight this weekend.
But there is a bright side to this career. The Dad in this house once stunned an entire room of professionals playing Trivial Pursuit, with the correct answer to 'Portuguese for 'open''. He learned it from Sesame Street.