(Dave, are you smiling down on me? My comedy is back)
Recently, my characters have become more mouthy.
I like to think of myself as their creator. Goddess material. Without me, they wouldn’t have a life on the
page, or anywhere, for that matter. This
should buy me a certain amount of respect, I figure. Sort of like you might give a minor deity. After all, I have created five series for
them to live in.
Unfortunately, my characters haven’t bought into that. Worse, they seem to have cast me into the
role of mother. That’s me: a necessary
embarrassment for the perpetuation of their lives. And like all kids, they squabble. They fight with each other for
attention. I liken it to sibling
jealousy.
To wit:
“You haven’t written about me lately,” says Rowena, star of
Rowena Through the Wall.
I try to ignore the petulance in her voice.
“Been busy,” I mumble.
“Gina (The Goddaughter) had to get married in Vegas. And Del, a relative of hers,
started a vigilante group.”
“I don’t care if she started a rock group. You’re supposed to be writing MY story.”
I turn away from the keyboard and frown at her. “Listen, toots. You wouldn’t have any stories at ALL if it
weren’t for me. You’ve had three books
of adventures with men. A normal gal
would be exhausted. So please be patient
and wait your turn. Jennie had
to suck it up for Worst Date Ever.
Del and The B-Team were next in line.
You can be after that, maybe.”
Maybe. I wasn’t going to tell her
about the 6th Goddaughter book currently in the works.
“It’s not fair. I
came first! Before all those silly mob comedies,”
Row whines. “Don’t forget! I was the one who got you bestseller
status.” She points at her ample chest.
“Hey!” says Gina, fresh from
cannoli central. “And which book won the
Derringer and the Arthur Ellis? Not some
trashy old fantasy novel.”
“Who are YOU calling trashy?” says Rowena, balling her hands into
fists. “Just because my bodice rips in
every scene….”
“Like THAT isn’t a plot device,” chides Gina.
“Oh, PLEASE don’t fight,” says Jennie, the plucky romance
heroine of Worst Date Ever. “I just want
everyone to have a Happy Ever After.
Can’t you do that for us all, Mom?
Er…Melodie?”
I look at Del, from The B-Team. “What do you think?”
Del shrugs. “Sounds
sucky. What kind of crap story would
that be? Bugger, is that the time? I got a second story job that needs
doing. Cover for me, will you? And this time, let me know if the cops
“Cops?” says
Gina. “Crap! I’m outta here.”
“Cops?” says Rowena.
“There’s that little matter of a dead body in book 2…” She vanishes.
“Cops?” says Jennie, hopefully. “OH! Is one of them single?”
Book 15 is now out! THE GODDAUGHTER DOES VEGAS
(Don't tell Rowena...)
